Well, needless to say, after all the goals I set not to get caught up in the vicious holiday weight gain cycle, after the Christmas goodies and vacation, my jeans do feel a little tighter. The frustrating part is that I tried, for the most part, to be good. I was diligent in working out and did fine eating healthy during the day, but then the evenings came. . . and so did the pumpkin cake, cadbury chocolates and egg nog . It's not that I went crazy with it, but I did have my share of treats. The hard thing I have realized is that even falling back into old habits for a short amount of time, can have adverse effects. How do I not fall into that trap and still enjoy the holidays? It's so annoying! Now is one of those times that I wish I was one of those girls with a ridiculously high metabolisms, born with that perfect body shape. As Jillian Michaels says to one of the girls in her DVD, when complimenting her toned legs and butt, "You better not be born this way, or I'm gonna have to kill you. I'll have to jump you in the parking lot later." The good news is, I think with the good habits I've learned and put into practice, it won't take too long to get back to where I was. It's only a few pounds, but I want to catch it now so I can fix it. It isn't just about how my jeans fit, but in how I feel in general. It's the lack of energy, not feeling good and feeling down that is getting to me. So, this week I have started alternating a few "carb deplete" days with just low calorie days. My sister said that is what she was going to try after her holiday downs, so I thought I would try that with my own little spin on it as well. (Thanks Em for the idea) So, a carb deplete day is one that comes from the "Crack the Fat Loss Code" book, it is basically very little to almost no carbs. The problem is, I hate doing it as much as I always have, I am not happy doing it, I'm starving, but it is only for a short period of time to get back on track. (Wait why am I doing this to myself again?) It definitely takes some discipline and an extra "boost" of inner strength. Gaining and losing, it's a vicious cycle that I wish I could find a permanent solution for.
For Christmas, I got another Jillian Michael's DVD called,"Banish Fat and Boost Metabolism." (From which I quoted earlier) It's another awesome, awesome workout that focuses mainly on cardio. It's got kickboxing moves and strength training as well. I love it! Just like the other DVDs, it's tough. But as Jillian has said, we are all capable of working out hard and seeing our full potential.
Unfortunately, as I know I have said before,there really is no end to the weight loss and maintenance process, it is constant and you have to keep at it, even when it gets hard. It's hard, but it has also motivated me to ask for help spiritually, to find that extra strength to keep going. Whatever the struggle is, it is a motivating means to an end.
I hope you can bear with me as I dig a little deeper into the more profound things that have hit me lately. It isn't just about the weight loss highs and lows, but it is definitely connected to it. This week I started reading my scriptures again, which I am not very good at doing consistently. I also started reading a book about the Atonement. I actually just grabbed it, because I didn't have another library book out. It is one by a really good friend of mine, (The Continuous Atonement by Brad Wilcox) that I have been meaning to read,but just hadn't done it. Even though it has only been a few days, the cool thing is, seeking help is giving me strength both spiritually and physically. It's giving me the "boost" I need. It's giving me a stronger desire for spiritual knowledge as well. Seeking spiritual strength in my goals has helped me before, I was just starting to lose sight of that. I am feeling better and happier. I think in so many ways, our struggles are a blessing in disguise. When we are searching for help in whatever it may be, he is there to help us and lift some of that burden. Even though these weight loss struggles are tiny when you look at the big picture, real change takes constant work no matter what it is you want to change. I won't get too much into the spiritual side, and make this too much like a talk in church. I will try to keep the rambling to a minimum. (I hope this all makes sense). However, I will leave you with this thought. From the book is a quote I really liked, it is actually talking about repentance and bringing others to Christ, but I think it applies to any aspect of life. "It isn't easy. No one ever said that it would be. The question for us to consider is, Is It Worth it?" -M. Russell Ballard
Yes, it is worth it, to be happy and healthy in every aspect of life.
